Celestial Themes

mellopetitone:

bluandorange:

inthebackoftheimpala:

cliffnotesofanerd:

anifanatical:

deliverusfromsburb:

I understand that a lot of people enjoy writing shipfics where they transplant characters into a college setting. Since some writers may not be in college, or may have graduated a long time ago, I thought I’d offer a helpful list of realistic college meet not-so-cute scenarios. Forget baristas. This is where it’s at. 

- I’m really passionate about this cause and I will give you this flier if I have to shove it down your throat

- vicious battle over the only left handed desk in the room

- my roommate’s boyfriend is staying over so can I please sleep on your floor

- it’s pouring and my final paper is in my backpack so I guess we’re stuck under this tiny awning together. do you think they’d deliver pizza here

- hey I have to photograph someone for class will you be my model

- hey I have to take someone’s blood pressure for class will you be my victim

- variations of the above

- I know I keep coming to the cookie shop and for some reason it’s always your shift but don’t you dare judge me I need these for my sanity

- all our friends are drunk

- it’s 3 am and I’m still in the library studying for finals and I’m losing my grip on reality and I think I just saw a ghost

- we’re the only two people in this club. what is this club even for

- humans vs zombies (see you can still have your zombie AU, best of both worlds)

- we’re the only people who ever talk in discussions it’s awful

- GROUP PROJECT

 (little-smartass)

- Neither of us bought the expensive textbook but there is only one copy in the library and it can’t leave the building

- This awesome professor only has one TA slot and we’re rivals

- I found your USB drive still in the computer

- I thought I was the only one who liked the waffle station in the cafeteria

- You keep reserving the good study room in the corner of the library with the windows

- We’re studying in the library and there are two people very obviously fucking in the stacks and we keep sharing embarrassed glances

- We’re both donating blood in the blood donation van in the quad to get out of the same class

- You decked me in the head while you were playing frisbee golf

- Wait, I actually have a competent lab partner?

- You’re the RA and you’re trying to bust me for having hermit crabs

- You’re baking cookies in the communal kitchen at 3am and I’m angry but also really hungry

- What are you doing at this table at the career fair

- Waiting for office hours

- I’ve been sitting in this seat all semester why did you decide to sit in it today

- Clearly we’re both really uncomfortable at this party

- You peed on my car. You were drunk. I was in the car. There will be hell to pay.

- We started racing up the three flights of stairs to class for some reason and we can’t stop

- You’re REALLY GOOD at using the right search terms for the academic databases and I’m on a deadline

-my friend dragged me to this party and I just saw my ex quick make out with me

-we’re always at the fitness center at the same time and end up competing on the treadmill

- Sorry my roommate puked on your shoes

- Can I borrow a dryer sheet? I ran out and the ones in the vending machine give me a rash

-Your school mailbox is right next to mine

-I saw you sneaking captain crunch and cutlery out of the dining hall

-My roommate borrowed your contraband hotpot and managed to set it on fire

-You keep using my preferred shower stall in the floor bathrooms when I’m trying to get ready for class

-My computer crashed and you’re the student worker at the IT center

-we’re both on althetic teams that aren’t as cool as the football team and they give us shit

- You’re part of the guerrilla theater club on campus and crashed my class for a performance

-What do you mean we’re under a tornado warning?

-its 3am, in the dead of winter, some motherfucker pulled/set off the fire alarm and I am being very vocal about how I’m gonna make that fucker pay

-you’re the fucker who set off the fire alarm with your awful cooking

-I’m the fucker who set off the fire alarm with my awful cooking

-my shower isn’t working can I use yours

-RA mandated floor party

-I couldn’t help but notice you’re watching a show I like instead of studying in the computer lab

-dude your headphones are really loud like I can make out most of Kayne’s lyrics and I’m sitting across the fucking room

-hey the semester’s almost over and I have way too much money on my cafeteria account, do you want anything??? this shit’s just gonna disappear into the college’s pocket otherwise

-THERE IS A BOUNCY CASTLE IN THE OVAL AND I AM VERY EXCITED

-We take the bus to class at the same time every day (MW/TR/MWF/whatever) and now we’re acquaintances because you can’t make eye contact with someone that many times in a semester and not have some sort of relationship

-I saw you walking to class every day (see above) last semester and think you’re cute and now you’re in my class this semester

-You’re the dj for the best show on the college radio and I have a crush on your musical taste

-You’re in theater/band/orchestra/chorus/the end of semester opera/marching band/cheerleading/dance team/step team/etc. and I think you’re really talented and really attractive

-We have a ton of mutual friends but I’ve only met you just now and you’re so awesome wow

-The dorms are snowed in and my friends and I are going down a hill on a makeshift sled. You join us because what the hell

-Something smells delicious and I’m bored so I’m going to track down which person on my hall is making that oh my god

-I’m having a HELL of a time with the campus office and you’re the student assistant at the front desk who gets how terrible this office is and shoots me sympathetic glances when I’m there

koobaxion:

Man okay when I got my wisdom teeth out it was a fucking experience. Before the surgery wasn’t too interesting but as soon as I woke up I saw the nurse next to me and was all like “hey… i think… i died… and now I’m in a parallel universe… and i gotta go back to my house and kill…

jabllon:

peanutbutterlov-er:

clittyslickers:

very into charts about naps

This is very useful for when I go back to uni.

"No, professor, I was not sleeping, I was taking the NASA nap."

(Source: itsaisha5hah)

chii-bi:

” Please take care of yourself! ”

kinkokitty:

Day 1 Any Pokemon

Woopers! and a pumpkin. I love pumpkin pie and pumpkin pie flavored foodstuffs, so why not start this month with a pumpkin.

 xenomind: so how's it feel to be a racist lol

vikingdeathmar:

kat-blaque:

depressednmoderatelywelldressed:

mysoulhasgrowndeep-liketherivers:

countingmyfeathers:

hussieologist:

yoki-pacoquinha:

social-justice-mindy:

I don’t know,

  • go ask Donald Sterlings girlfriend that used him to push the liberal agenda.
  • Go ask our president who continues to try and raise minumun wage as an attack on white collar individuals.
  • Go ask Beyonce, who culturally appropriates white women at every chance she gets.
  • Go ask the writer of the show Scandal, that thinks its “Progressive” to write a role in which the white woman is embarrassed consistently while the black bitch is seen as the saviour.
  • Go ask Lupita who thinks its okay to tell black girls their dreams are valid but not say anything about white girls
  • Go ask channels like BET, that dont even hire white people
  • Go ask all the people at HCBU that attend all black colleges but when call me racist for attending a community college that is predominantly white
  • Go ask all the people who make welfare possible
  • Go ask all the recipeints of Affirmative Action.
  • Go ask the black guys who used to call me “sexy white bitch” on my way home from walking from highschool
  • Go ask the black girls who told me to go tanning, but god forbid I tell them to bleach
  • But more importantly, ASK or should I say AX yourself! 

I’m sick of all the hate I get. Leave me alone. I’m not racist, I’m a good person that was expressing myself. My last post was weeks ago and I literally have 773 messages in my inbox of hate. I fucking cant with this anymore. GO ASK THE RACIST TUMBLRS THAT SEND ME HATE!

image

Lol

Lol the beyonce one made me spit my food out.

This is the best post on website

Reaching farther than her hairline

please tell me this is satirical. 

Being called a sexy white bitch isn’t racism? That’s misogyny, it’s horrible, like incredibly so, however it’s not racist (because folks pointed out you’re white) BUT HOLY SHIT THIS HAS TO BE SATIRE RIGHT?

tastefullyoffensive:

Dogs Who Look Like Other Things [imgur]

Previously: Bears Doing Human Things

(Source: gruntledandhinged)

omgrunlol:

powerlesbian:

today i learned domesticated talking birds that escape are teaching wild talking birds expletives that sometimes become that flock’s group call

can you imagine being out on a nature walk and randomly hearing a group of birds screaming HEY ASSHOLE

oh my god

(Source: auntiewitch)

rider-waite:

vivacosima:

daily reminder that minerva mcgonagall is metal as fuck

reminder she took 3 stunning spells directly to the chest and after being taken to st mungos brushed it off like nothing

(Source: majesdanes)